The Frog Prince By David Mamet

    The Prince: I like you. As a matter of fact I like you a lot. I think your smart. I think you’re smart and pretty… Are you susceptible to flattery? I know, we all are. Everybody likes to be told nice things about themselves. You know what else I like about you? You’re generous. That’s something in today’s world, isn’t it? It’s a lot. I think it’s rather a lot. Not to be judgmental. Not to be stuck up. To say however lowly someone is I am going to see the good in them. And you do that. I think it’s admirable. I mean, here you are working so hard, working every day. Carrying milk the whole time carrying…um…hay. You look so pretty working in the sun. You do something to me Grace…May I call you Grace? Grace, you do something to me. Every day seeing you go past a feeling has risen in my breast. Grace, I wanna ask you something. (To The Gods) Okay, here goes. I choose and elect this woman and if she will give me all her selfless love, as evidenced by the physical evidence of her giving me a kiss, I will be free. And I choose her. (Back to Grace) Grace, I’d like to give you a kiss. Would you give me a kiss? Grace? Abbreviated Givens Who am I? I am Prince Albert Augustus Hortenz the third, currently displaced ruler of Belgradia. I am 26 years old. Two months ago I pissed off an old peasant woman who turned me into a frog. I have a faithful serving man with me named Bill who is my trusted servant and friend. My fiancé, the beautiful Patrice has take over since my disappearance and is ruining the Kingdom. My parents both died 8 years ago of a severe chill and I have been ruler ever since. I have no other family. I am well educated, intelligent, funny, a little scheming but my heart is in the right place. The word “privileged” was created to describe me. But that was before I became a frog. It has been hard being a frog, I am hungry and cold but what is worse is seeing my people being hurt and my serving man starving. I also can’t stand how I look now. If I can get a maiden to Kiss me the curse will be reversed and I can fix the Kingdom. Where am I? I am in the dark thick evil wood directly adjacent to the rolling sunlit meadows on the south side of my Castle. This wood has no name and is always bitterly cold. I am constantly hearing something rustling unseen in the thick and thorny vegetation that surrounds me. The woods smell a little like rotting fruit and cumin. Fortunately, there are lots of bugs for me to eat. Unfortunately, I still can’t stand the taste of bugs or the crunch they make in my mouth. The woods are very damp even when it doesn’t rain. I see no one here but Bill and Grace the milkmaid. At night sometimes when Bill is asleep I hear the nearby sounds of a wolf. I do not like my new and vulnerable spot on the food chain. When is it? It is Thursday, October 29, 1903, 2pm. Late fall. The weather has been miserable. It rained hard last night and the ground is cold and muddy. There is a hint of the soon to be approaching winter in the biting wind. I am barely getting by as it is I don’t know how I will survive the winter. It has been 2 months since my transition and my people are already beginning to forget about me. My fiancé, the beautiful Patrice is looking to remarry and is having me pronounced legally dead. My servant Bill is not doing well, he has lost weight and looks sickly. His clothes have become dirty and tattered. What do I want from who I am talking to? I want Grace to want to kiss me. I need to get Grace to give me her kiss freely. Her kiss will turn me back into a Prince. I want to run My fiancé, the beautiful Patrice out of the Kingdom. I want give Bill a dukedom or something, definitely some new clothes. I will get Grace something too…A new cow, or something nice. How do I try to get what I want from who I am talking to? I will get Grace to kiss me through charm, flattery, persuasion and asking for it directly. I could always seduce any girl only it’s a little different now that I’m a frog. She seems like a good kid and I think I have a real chance of winning her over. She is cute too, for a milkmaid. I need to take my time and be careful because once I declare her as the one to kiss me it can’t be anyone else. I got to get this done right and soon. SCORE Supper Objective: To earn my place in History as a wise and beneficent ruler. Monologue Objective: To get Grace to kiss me. Moment Before: Grace is laughing at my jokes and says that I’m “funny”. Stakes: Either I am a prince and return for vengeance or I am ruined and destitute The Prince: (Beat/ Objective- Woo her, win her over/ Obstacle-I’m just a frog friend/Action-flatter her/ butter her up/praise.) I like you. As a matter of fact I like you a lot. I think your smart. I think you’re smart and pretty…(Beat/ Objective- Check in, Have I overdone it? Is this working?/ Obstacle-I cant give away the game/Action casually inquire/Fish for it.) Are you susceptible to flattery? (Beat/ Objective- Cover, I’ve blown it/ Obstacle-she might be catching on/Action Dismiss/Blow it off.) I know, we all are. Everybody likes to be told nice things about themselves. D she hasn’t figured out I’m bull shitting (Beat/ Objective- Get back to the plan/ Obstacle-I can’t tell if this is working/Action Build her up/ Charm.) You know what else I like about you? You’re generous. That’s something in today’s world, isn’t it? It’s a lot. I think it’s rather a lot. Not to be judgmental. Not to be stuck up. To say however lowly someone is I am going to see the good in them. (CROAK) (Beat/ Objective- Cover up/ Obstacle-I just croaked/Action Distract/ Double down on praise.) And you do that. I think it’s admirable. (Beat/ Objective- Make her feel valued and special/Obstacle-I don’t know her very well/Action Energize her, celebrate her.) I mean, here you are working so hard, working every day. Carrying…milk the whole time carrying…um…hay. (Beat/ Objective- Cover up that I didn’t know what she does/ Obstacle-I just stumbled/Action flirt) You look so pretty working in the sun. You do something to me Grace…(Beat/ Objective- Establish intimacy/Action plead to go beyond the boundaries, ease out of the friend zone.) May I call you Grace? D she is letting me use her name, Holly shit I can do this! (Beat/ Objective- Woo her/Action seduce.) Grace, you do something to me. Every day seeing you go past a feeling has risen in my breast. (Beat/ Objective- Get her prepared Obstacle-she doesn’t know what’s coming./Action set the table/ guild her to the next level.) Grace, I wanna ask you something. (To The Gods) (Beat/ Objective- Get everything straight with the Gods Obstacle-they don’t talk back./Action Negotiate/Pin them down.)Okay, here goes. I choose and elect this woman and if she will give me all her selfless love, as evidenced by the physical evidence of her giving me a kiss, I will be free. Action Dot the i and cross the t/ Button it up.)And I choose her. (Back to Grace) (Beat/ Objective- Get her to kiss me Obstacle-I’m a frog./Action Tempt/Urg.)Grace, I’d like to give you a kiss. Would you give me a kiss? D she is turning away W.T.F.! (Beat/ Objective- Get back on track/recover Obstacle-I think I’ve lost her/Action gently inquire/plead.) Grace?